Cameron’s arrival

I thought it was time I write Cam’s birth story, and today is a good a day as any, he is 4 weeks old already!

Sunday 14th February 2016.

I woke up at just gone 2am to go for my usual middle-of-the-night wee, then went back to bed. At 3:20am I woke up again, a bit panicky as I thought I’d wet the bed! I moved, barely an inch, and I felt gushing down below. ‘Oh crap, this was it’ I remember thinking! I woke up MrV, normally a tricky thing to do as he’s such a heavy sleeper, but me shoving him saying “my waters have broken” did the trick!!

Once he’d phoned his mum and dad (they were coming over to look after the girls) I somehow managed to get to the bathroom, towel between my legs, still feeling like a human waterfall. What a weird sensation, I don’t remember there being so much last time. I phoned the hospital to let them know, and they suggested I go in. By the time MrV’s parents got to us, and we then got to the hospital it was about 5am.

We went to the Midwife Led Unit as my consultant had discharged me and said I didn’t need to be in the Consultant Led Unit. Unfortunately she had failed to write this in my notes but as the unit was quiet one of the midwives went through the paperwork and checked me over before sending us elsewhere. At this point I was only 3cm dilated and was only having very mild contractions, but as I had a history of quick labours and we lived about half an hour away they said they would definitely keep me in.

I was given a bed on the antenatal ward and told to “get some rest”… as if!
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(my mid-contraction selfie!)

My contractions started ramping up about 8am-ish and I think it was about 9ish when I asked for gas and air. They also hooked me up to a monitor so they could check baby’s heartbeat.

(Side note: by this time there was another lady in the bed next to me, also having contractions, but managing to play cards and talking to her partner like nothing was happening. It’s a good job MrV had his phone to play on as my conversational skills were next to useless)

By 10am I was really struggling. My contractions were about 3 minutes apart, but when the midwife checked again I was only 5cm dilated. I kept telling her the baby’s coming but she kept trying to convince me he wasn’t. More contractions, and suddenly I started feeling pressure. I guess you could see in my face something was going on, I’m sure I looked panicky, so she called the delivery suite and told them she was bringing me down. “The only thing is we can’t take the gas and air with us, but you can have it again when we get downstairs”

I don’t remember saying anything but I know for a fact that my face said enough. Moving downstairs, my contractions getting stronger and closer, with no gas and air?! Shit!

Everything after this happened very quickly, but to me it seemed an eternity. Poor MrV had to follow on behind with all my ‘stuff’ as I was whisked away on the bed (there’s no way I could have sat in the wheelchair they offered me!) out of the ward (cue contraction) into the lift (another contraction) and into the delivery room (another one!). There I was, but I hadn’t thought it through, they wanted me to get off one bed onto the other. Even the temptation of the gas and air, which didn’t reach to where I was, was still not helping. How was I going to move when I was in so much pain?!

After getting told off by the midwife (!) and yet another contraction, I managed to haul myself onto the new bed, and I’d already told them to raise the head up, there was no way I was laying down, I needed gravity to help! I got onto my knees and leaning over the head of the bed I finally got the gas and air back! I could see MrV again, right in front of me, I’d never been so glad to see him, it was getting seriously close and I was freaking out. 

A few contractions later, the midwife told me I needed to lay down so they could examine me, as the baby’s heartbeat had dropped. I remember from having Millie that laying on my back was not a good idea, and it felt all wrong. I remember shouting that I wasn’t going to move, that the baby was coming, I needed to push. I don’t know if she said it to me or someone else but I remember hearing that I was more likely to tear if I delivered on my knees, but that was really the last thing on my mind! I think they told me not to push, that I wasn’t ready, but when the uncontrollable growling started (labouring is incredibly animalistic – is that a word!?) and the midwife checked, she changed her mind… “Push when you need to” she said!

So yet again, here I was having a baby with only gas and air. It’s a very strange sensation, it doesn’t really do anything for the pain but it makes me so spaced out that I can only focus on one thing at a time. MrV was by my side all the time, telling me to breath properly (I guess I was almost panting, to get more gas and air in!) and feeding me ice chips as that gas really dries your mouth out! At some point I must have taken my tshirt off too, but I don’t really remember that!

Back to the pushing… The pain was so intense. I remember as he was starting to crown, my contraction stopped so he went back in. This happened two or three times, I thought he was never going to come out. Eventually I had a long enough contraction that I could push for longer, and out he came. Thank god for gravity! I cried so much; the pain, the relief, I finally had my boy! 

MrV cut the cord and had the first cuddle, as he has done with each of our children. I couldn’t have done this, again, without him. He always says “I didn’t do anything” but just knowing he was there next to me, calming me down and translating my spaced out mumbling (!) was all I needed. 

My baby was put on my chest then I had the injection to help with delivering the placenta. I always forget about that bit! When that was over, I needed checking over to see if I needed stiches, which of course I did. At least I got my gas and air back while they stitched me up though. I remember this bit clearly, constantly taking gas and air whilst they ‘fixed me’ all while holding my baby. At some point MrV said “mind he doesn’t fall off you”… “He’s not going anywhere” I replied. Although I was so out of it I couldn’t keep my eyes open, I knew exactly where our baby was, and I wasn’t going to let him move, it was almost like he was keeping me safe. Unfortunately for me though, of all the things happening around me, my brain chose to focus on what the midwife was saying. She had a student midwife with her so she had to explain everything she was doing, enough said.

Eventually I was all mended, my legs had been released from the ever-so-dignifying stirrups, and I could sit up and look at my baby. When they weighed him, we were all a bit shocked, he weighed 9lb 7oz! No wonder I was so big! Anabel only weighed 7lb 7oz and Amelia was 7lb 13oz! 

It took quite a while to think of a name, we still had a not-very-short list, but here he is, Cameron Alexander…

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This is the girls’ reaction to meeting their baby brother…
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Isn’t that enough?

(post inspired by the lovely Giovanna Fletcher’s pic this morning… https://www.instagram.com/p/BCcnUlLk0qi/)

This is my post-baby bump.
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I posted on facebook and instagram the other day about having lost 25lbs since Cameron was born, but I feel weird about this. Obviously the weight of my baby and the fluid that surrounded him was a massive part of this loss, but I have not intentionally lost more weight, I’ve just been more active than my last two pregnancies as I have more children to look after!
I am so thankful that my body has been able to grow and protect another baby, yet people still feel the need to comment on my weight, and other mums for that matter. I’ve never been small, even as a teenager, but with each pregnancy I have put on more and more weight, which made my self confidence drop even lower and makes it progressively harder to lose the ‘baby weight’. Now that I’ve had my babies I think people just expect you to lose weight overnight and for it to be high priority.
It isn’t.
I’m trying my best to look after three children, to get us all dressed, fed and out the door in time for school. I’m trying not to lose my temper when the girls start arguing and ‘fighting’. I’m trying to stay awake in the day even though the baby had me up what seems like a hundred times in the night. I’m trying to get at least some housework done so that MrV doesn’t come home from work and have to do what I’ve not done. All of this and then worrying about what people might think of me on the school run. I must look a mess, I’ve worn no makeup for months now, and I feel like I’m constantly shouting “come here Millie… don’t run off… hold my hand… Bella don’t do that… girls do as you’re told…”.
In the last few days, two people (men) have told me that my face looks a lot slimmer. One of these was my father in law, the nicest man you could ever meet, and the other was a shop assistant in my local Boots. Both comments were taken as compliments, and I’m sure they were both said with the best intentions, but it got me thinking. If it’s got to the point that men are commenting on my weight, and we all know they’re not the most observant at times, does this mean that women are silently doing so? Even I have noticed that my clothes don’t fit properly, my leggings and maternity jeans are baggy to the point I can’t wear my jeans now, yet I look in the mirror and still see the remains of a big belly, the stretched hideous skin and divots where my stomach muscles seperated. My tops are still tight, which they would be as I only gave birth 17 days ago, but I don’t want to buy new ones yet incase this time I actually manage to lose my belly.
Why is there so much pressure on mums? At the minute all I want to do is sleep and cuddle my baby, isn’t that enough???

Oh, hello February!!

It’s finally here, the month our whole world will change, baby Twiglet is due in 15 days!!!
We (and by that I really mean MrV) spent most of yesterday tidying and finishing off the nursery. We probably won’t be using it for a few months other than if I’m upstairs doing things so he can get used to it, but it was such a mess and we’d been putting it off for weeks! Here it is, all ready and waiting.

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It’s been a stressful few weeks to be honest, I feel more uncomfortable each day, and last week Twiglet decided to make himself comfortable very very low. This has it’s good and bad points, I finally have a bit of space back for my poor insides, especially my lungs! However, I now hurt more than ever as my pelvis is under an extreme amount of pressure, making moving at all reeeally tricky.

I know I (we) have been incredibly lucky to get this far problem-free, but I’d really like to meet our baby boy very very soon, and not go “overdue” like my darling MrV keeps reminding me that I could. I know it’s possible, but I really don’t want to hear it!!

It’s started again

You’d think I’d never had a baby before. Here I am nearly 34 weeks pregnant with my third, and I find myself panicking more often than I’m not.
I’ve always been a worrier, I’m sure you know that, but with pregnancy it’s always intensified. With baby #1 I worried about labour as I had no idea what I was doing, everything was new. With baby #2 I knew exactly what to expect and that scared the life out of me. With baby #3 I can’t even think about it without my stomach churning, everything is setting it off, even talking to MrV about baby names.
I thought I should make a start on organising (not yet packing) things for my hospital bag today. I’ve actually made a good start, and got a lot of the baby stuff sorted, but it didn’t stop me feeling like I was going to puke. It’s ridiculous, I’ve done it twice already, what am I panicking for?
Seriously though, what am I panicking for? Is it just me or does anyone else do this?

Another year gone!

It’s that time again, New Years Eve, and I’m regretting letting my blog slip so far behind. I can’t believe my last post was in September, with my baby girl starting school! I’m going to try to do a quick roundup of things that have happened since, please bear with me… 😉

October
We found out at our 20 week scan we’re expecting another baby girl!
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One of MrV’s cousins turned 21 and had a fancy dress party to celebrate, of course we obliged, even bump got in on the action…
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… and our little Anabel won best children’s costume!!
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Millie and I started having the occasional breakfast date after dropping her sister off at school.
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She has really started to change, constantly talking and such a cheeky little monkey.

November
Bella was very excited about “Pudsey Bear day” at school, and she got to take a teddy in for a teddy bears picnic.
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Unfortunately I had a phonecall at lunchtime to pick her up after an accident in the playground…
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… my poor little sausage. She was more upset that I had to bring her home. We ended up in A&E that night for hours, she was ok, I’d cleaned all the grit out but she needed a little ‘stitch’ and some glue. Both girls were so well behaved, Millie even stayed awake, but Bella flaked in my arms 10 minutes before they sorted her out!
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The following week we were back in A&E as she’d been sick a few times so they wanted to rule out concussion. Yet again she was good as gold, and even got to “ride” in a wheelchair on the way to get a scan. Fortunately everything was ok, they said she probably picked up a bug which just coincided with the bump to her head.
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I had another ultrasound scan at 28 weeks, and I casually asked them to check the sex of the baby… “oh yes it’s still a boy…!!!” WHAT?!?! So, it appears the last sonographer was wrong, and we are going to be having a little Mr!! How exciting!!!
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December
The Christmas season certainly came round quickly, and it started with a little play called “Whoops-a-daisy Angel” at school. Our little Anabel was a snowflake, but as we were only allowed two tickets only Millie and I got to go and watch her. She didn’t have a speaking part, but the snowflakes had a song to sing, and she was adorable! (she’s the teeny one on the very right!)
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Poor little Millie developed a rash round her mouth which even though we cleaned them we put down to her dummies, so we made the decision to take them off her. She did so well bless her, and only asked for it twice (unlike when Bella had hers taken away!) but after a week we noticed a few little blistery spots on her hands and feet, turns out she had hand foot and mouth all along, how awful did I feel for taking her comforter away! Everything was fine though, it disappeared, nobody else caught it and the doctors said it was a very mild case. Apart from being a bit clingy it didn’t seem to affect her at all, and she still looked cute as ever.
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The middle of December saw both girls coming down with bugs again. Millie had a chest infection and Bella had an ear infection in both ears (which explained why she couldn’t hear a thing) so they both ended up on antibiotics, and Bella missing the last three days of school. She was so tired she didn’t care though, they both slept most of the week.
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Which brings us to Christmas! It was all going to be so much fun, until MrV got poorly with conjunctivitis and flu symptoms. Today is the first day since Christmas Eve he’s sounded a bit more human, though his eyes… eek 😞
Here’s a couple of my favourite photos from Christmas Day…
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If you managed to get to the end of this post, firstly well done! and secondly thank you! It’s been an eventful year, and I am so looking forward to this next year, for a start we get to meet our baby boy!!
If you’re still up, I hope you’re seeing the New Year in with lots of fun and games. For those of you that have retired to the warmth of your bed, good plan! I shall be doing the same in a few minutes.
To all of you though, a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Meet ‘Gremlin’!!!

Last week, we finally got announce our very exciting news, I’m pregnant again! It had seemed like it was taking forever to get to the 12 week scan, as with Bella we went private and had an early scan at 7 weeks. But here we are again, broadcasting our fabulous news all over the social media sites; twitter, facebook, instagram, you name it!
It was a very long day, Tuesday 17th July, I finally had my long-awaited booking appointment in the morning at one hospital, then in the afternoon we went to another hospital for my scan, and even that wasn’t as straight forward as you’d expect. My appointment was 2.40pm, so as I was told, I started filling my bladder an hour before. This would have been fine had the sonographers been running on time, but they weren’t. I didn’t get called in ’til gone 3pm, by which point I’d had to relieve some of the pressure on my bladder, a most uncomfortable experience; how can you stop peeing when you’re fit to explode?!
Anywho, I was called in for my scan. I dutifully got on the bed, pulled my top up, etc, and laid there looking at MrV. I think the sonographer was a little worried, but she went ahead and started glooping jelly onto my belly. Thankfully, moments later, she said something like “there it is”… And I’m not afraid to say I cried like a baby, I couldn’t stop! I’d got myself so worked up that they weren’t going to find anything, that my body had been playing tricks on me and I wasn’t actually pregnant, but there it was, our tiny little baby just laying there in my belly!!!
It took a while longer to get some decent measurements as it was in the wrong position, then wouldn’t move, then wouldn’t keep still, but eventually everything was finished and we could go. I didn’t even care that they had to take yet more blood from me (I’d had some taken at my booking appointment) I was just so happy. All I could think of was getting home to our little Bella, who hopefully wasn’t running granny and grandpa ragged, to show her the picture of her little brother or sister!

Bella’s big announcement…

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Scan 2 – view of the face almost covered by teeny tiny hands!

Just I case anyone is wondering ‘why Gremlin?!’, it’s not the traditional gremlin like the movie, it’s after a baby monkey from BBC’s Planet Earth Live that was just sooo cute! Who knew MrV was a big softie… 😉

SECRET POST #6

(posted 23rd July 2012)

An alert popped up on my phone this morning… “you are 9 weeks pregnant” as if I’d not remembered! There’s not been a day that’s gone by in the last few weeks where I’ve not either felt sick or been sick. Today it’s both 😦

I’m not normally one to do the whole ‘woe is me’ thing, but I’m really struggling. Bella is so active now, when she’s still it’s probably only because she’s asleep! I seem to have less and less energy, so I’m finding I have to lay on the sofa and just watch her play rather than join in, I feel really mean. I should count myself very lucky that she’s quite happy playing on her own though, she’s recently taken to crawling into her playpen to read a book and closing the ‘door’ behind her!!

SECRET POST #5

(posted 23rd July 2012)

I’m almost 7 weeks pregnant, or so we think. I say this as my last period wasn’t really ‘normal’, it never really kicked in, so I’m either nearly 7 or nearly 11! I was only saying to MrV the other day that I was worried as I didn’t feel pregnant, I didn’t have any real symptoms. How wrong can you be?! The following day I started feeling sick, I’m massively bloated (which is secretly why I’m hoping I’m more than nearly 7 weeks, as my belly is getting big already, either that or I need to stop eating!) I’ve had horrendous mood swings, and the last two days I’ve cried on and off all day.
It’s so awful having to hide it. I can talk to less than a handful of people about it, but on the other hand I don’t want to talk about it as I’m so paranoid something is going to happen. Just this last weekend we’ve been out to visit people for the Jubilee celebrations and I’ve had mini meltdowns as nothing seems to fit, already. It would be fine if we were sure everything was ok and we’d had our scan, then I wouldn’t have to hide my belly. That being said, a lovely girl we know is also expecting, she’s more than 20 weeks now, and I look bigger than her, it’s so depressing 😦
I guess I just need to be patient and wait for the midwife to contact me so I can tell her about my confusing dates, again. I remember this all too well from being pregnant with Bella!

SECRET POST #4… The big one!

(posted 23rd July 2012)

Yesterday I found out I’M PREGNANT!!!!!!!

After getting stressed like you would not believe, at 8 days late I decided to do yet another test. The first one I peed on (!) was from a cheapy-cheap box of 2 for 99p, but there was a faint line in the test area. I shouted down the stairs for MrV, but his noise cancelling headphones have proved their worth and he couldn’t hear a thing, not me shouting his name, or stamping on the floor, or even throwing my slippers down the stairs! Right, I’ll do another one then!
The second test I took was the all singing all dancing digital one, the one that not only says yes or no, but it gives you an indication on how far along you are. So, second stick peed on, then came the longest 3 minutes, I was still thinking I wasn’t, it was probably just the stress making me late.
Three minutes came, I gingerly lifted the instruction sheet off the stick, I don’t know why but I always cover it up ’til it’s ready!
This is what I found…

Eeek!!! I grabbed Bella and shot downstairs to find MrV, needless to say he is super happy too! I stood there hugging my little girl, crying and shaking, we are so lucky!

I’ll go to the doctors tomorrow, to get the ball rolling again, but for now we’re ‘keeping mum’ until the all clear at the 12 week scan, hopefully. Just the agonising wait for that now… xxx

SECRET POST #3

(posted 23rd July 2012)

My period was due yesterday. I’m officially one day late. Unfortunately I’m not too happy as I took a test this morning (Saturday mornings are great for peeing on a stick!) and it quite clearly said “not pregnant”. Maybe I should have waited and bought the cheaper test kits, I wasn’t particularly ready to have the actual words rubbed in my face to make things worse.
MrV keeps telling me “it’ll happen” and I know technically there’s no reason why it shouldn’t, but I secretly hoped it would be as quick as when we fell pregnant with Bella. Maybe next month. I’ll keep you posted. x