(my) social awkwardness!

For as long as I can remember, my mum has had a best friend, a lovely lady, my godmother, my ‘auntie’. She has 2 children, a girl exactly 4 months older than me, and a boy 17 months younger than me. We were always round each other’s houses, and at each other’s parties… this photo is from my 7th birthday party (I’m on the right!).

As we grew up and moved up to secondary school, we saw less of each other. I guess this is probably just down to making our own friends and having our own social lives rather than that of our mums! There were a few get-togethers, mainly parent’s parties, this photo is from my mum’s wedding in 2000, we look so young!

I think there’s always been a sort of tension or awkwardness (from my part) towards Zoe, almost a dislike, but it’s only since my hubby and I got together and I mentioned her in conversation that he got me talking and worked out that it wasn’t dislike but jealousy! Zoe had far better exam results at school, she got engaged and married before me, she had a baby before me. Looking back I can see that my jealousy was ridiculous, I’m sure if I’d have worked hard in school too I’d have got better results in my exams! As for the other things, of course people will reach milestones before others, that’s what happens in life! I’m sure there may be things that I did before she did, but at the time it seemed so much more important to try and be ‘better’. 
Since my wedding, we’ve gotten quite a lot closer, and I’ve found out that we have so much in common, it seems we are quite alike! For reasons which I won’t go into on here, I am very grateful to have such a lovely, caring person in my life. We have both been through our fair share of troubles over the past few years and there are only a handful of people that I trust now and feel close to, and I am very glad to say that she is one of them. 
If you’re reading this, lovely, THANK YOU!! xxxxxxxxxxxxx (yes, 13!!)

I’m no Martha Stewart!

In my everyday battle to be a good mummy, it seems I am losing hope of being even an adequate wife.
Now, I know my hubby didn’t marry me for my domestic skills, some might say he married me despite the lack of them, but I’m getting better!
Take yesterday, for example. I’d had a really rough night after being awake til gone 1am and being woken by a very shouty baby at 6am, so I (we) could have quite easily gone back to bed after her breakfast. Instead, I took her to playgroup so she could see her little friends. On the way home we stopped at our local supermarket (tagliatelle was needed for dinner!) then came home and both had lunch.
I know Bella is only (!) 8 months old and although she has only just rediscovered how to get around the floor by rolling around like a loon, she takes up a huge amount of my time. When she’s not asleep, I’m trying to entertain her, or feed her, or change nappies, and though I would not change a single thing about that, I do feel that in doing all of this, in trying to be the best mummy I can be, that I am letting my husband down. I know I do not do enough around the house, I know I am messy and lazy, but I am trying so hard to improve.
After lunch yesterday, I swept the kitchen floor. This in itself sounds like nothing at all, but it’s one of those things that I always manage to forget, which is ridiculous as both my baby and cat are messy eaters so there is always stuff being thrown around / dropped on the (thankfully tiled) floor. So, I swept it. Afterwards I was quietly pleased with myself, and stupidly proud that I’d finally got my backside in gear to do it, but my god was my back killing me. Surely after my ‘good deed’ I should not necessarily rewarded, but not punished? Hey ho!
Where was I? Oh right, sweeping. So I’d swept the floor, put a load of washing in, washed/ sterilised/ refilled Bella’s bottles, and after hubby arrived home I even made (and later cooked) the pancake batter!
Actually writing this down makes it look even worse than I feel, and I’m sure many of you will think to yourselves ‘is that it?’ and honestly, yes! I’m hoping that as Bella grows and gets more independent, I will get more done in the house.
That is a very poor excuse you might think, so I can only apologise. I thank my lucky stars for my wonderful husband, for giving me the space I need to better myself as a mummy, I only hope that I can make it up to him and better myself as a wife in the future!

Oldies are the best ;)

I was looking at Bella today thinking how much she looks like both me and her daddy when we were both little. With this in mind, I thought I’d share some old pics of me as an ickle girl!

What’s on my mp3 player (meme)

I noticed a few of these posts floating around this morning and after reading them couldn’t wait to be tagged, thanks Ash!! Here’s what you do, put your mp3 player on shuffle and own up to the first 5 songs it picks, no cheating!

Here are my 5 songs…

1. Gym Class Heroes – Blinded By The Sun
I stole this album off my hubby, I didn’t think I’d like it but there’s not a bad song on there!
2. Jack Johnson – Banana Pancakes
Quite simply one of my favourite songs ever, I’m so chuffed this came up!
3. Queen – We Will Rock You
My phone is on a roll, legend of a track!
4. Newton Faulkner – Lullaby
Not one of the better ones but from a great album, another introduced by hubby 🙂
5. Jack Johnson – Angel
This is OUR song! Hubby made me (and quite a few others!) cry when he quoted a few lines to me in his wedding speech!!

So that’s it. I seem to have gotten away quite lightly from having some truly awful music on my phone!
Hmm, who to tag… @mugofdecaf @zoecorkhill @_tessgb … You’re it!!

Baby it’s cold outside ;)

We woke up this morning to find rather a large blanket of snow had fallen overnight. I don’t normally like snow, after lots of horrid experiences of driving in it, but as it was Bella’s first snowfall we were quite excited!

the view from our kitchen

After lunch we got layered up and headed out for a walk. This was also Bella’s first time in daddy’s buggy, so she got to face forwards and be her little nosey self!

Bella & mummy

To be honest, as she was tucked up all cosy and warm she actually fell asleep on our little walk, but woke up just as we got home so we had a little play!

Bella’s first taste of snow!

I think she enjoyed the snow, I wonder when she’ll see it next!

Nothing says "I love you" more…

This past week, the horrid sickness bug hit our (usually) trouble-free little house. First thing Monday morning it came to me, then hubby and Bella got it Wednesday morning. It’s hard enough feeling like absolute rubbish on my own, but with a baby to look after it was horrendous. Thankfully hubby took the day off on Monday, but Tuesday he had to go back so Bella and I kept each other company in-between (me) sleeping, (her) eating and a whole lot of Peppa Pig!
By Wednesday it was my turn to do the looking after., and honestly, nothing says “I love you” more than emptying your husband’s bucket of sick and changing the worst baby nappies I’ve ever seen! For anyone that knows me, the first of this was a huge feat!
I guess I should thank my lucky stars that we’ve managed so long without all getting poorly, but it doesn’t half hit you when you get it! I think I’m only just starting to feel human again, today is the first day I’ve been dressed all week and that’s only ‘cos my friend’s popping over this afternoon!
I did manage to take a few photos this week, so here it is, our week summed up…